As we discussed today in class there different ways you can handle communicating to people that you run into on the street based on how well you know the person.
This is a clip from the show Curb Your Enthusiasm. Watch how Larry David, the main character, handles his meeting with a previous acquaintance on the street.
Stop and Chat Video
So here is my question. What certain connections between two individuals allow for a "stop and chat" situation instead of a quick "hi and goodbye?" Or you can look at it this way. How well do you have to know someone to actually stop and chat with them?
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Well Scott, I think there are many different factors that are involved in how people decide whether or not to stop and chat with someone or not to. I think a lot of it has to do with if you like the other person or not, as well as just how much you now them. You can know someone very well but still not like them at all. You would then try to avoid at all costs to stop and chat with that person. I think that is the biggest factor in why someone decides to stop and chat or not.
ReplyDeleteI think that in order to "stop and chat" with someone you have to be familiar with their day to day activities and have a little background on their lives. It is easier to carry on a conversation and it is less awkward when you can ask how a class went or if they figured out what kind of car they are going to buy. As Mitch said, it does matter if you enjoy spending time with that person. If that person is not your favorite, yet you are familiar with them because you see them around a lot, you make the concious decision to avoid them. There are a lot of variables that can cause people to stop and chat but unless you are relatively familiar with the person its easier to just say one or two comments and continue on your way.
ReplyDeleteI think that people would typically "stop and chat" with someone if it is someone they are pretty good friends with and would be able to have a conversation with out feeling awkward when it is silent. Also, if you are walking and have time to even stop and chat for that matter. I think that people would just smile and say hi when they walk passed people they are acquaintances with, someone they may be friends with but do not have anything particular to talk about, of it they are just in a hurry. There's many factors that go into whether you stop and chat with someone or not.
ReplyDeleteThere's alot of things that go into why you would stop and chat with someone or just walk by. If you know the person very well your most likely going to stop and ask them how there day was and if they are ok. If you hardly know the person you may wave and say hi to show that you know them and recognize there presents. Another factor could be how much you like or dislike a person. However, in some cases even if you dislike a person you make still acknowledge there presence, but not not stop and chat it up with them. Instead you talk to them briefly to keep them out of your hair.
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ReplyDeleteIn my opinion and from my own personal experience, I hardly ever "stop and chat" with people I hardly know. Why? because its awkward! and as rude as it sounds, its time consuming. I've experienced a "stop and chat" in the past with a person I hardly knew and I will honestly tell you there was nothing more to say other than saying:"hey, how you been?" "whats new?" and end it with an "alright, nice seeing you. bye!"
ReplyDeleteI feel like in order for people to "stop and chat," they have to have some sort of relationship; whether there friends or someone they've hung out with more than once in order to even feel comfortable approaching them to "stop and chat."
To be comfortable to stop and chat with a person I think it is someone that you really know or someone from your past that you did know pretty well but have lost touched with for awhile. In that situation I believe it is easy to stop and chat because they are many questions you can ask about how they are doing, and what they are doing now... and so forth. I also think body lanuage plays a large role in if I stop and chat. If I see someone from school and they see me and they then proceed to look down at the ground or pretend like they are texting, I am obviously not going to stop and chat with them. If they smile and start to wave then I would be more likely to start a conversation with them.
ReplyDeleteI think stop and chats are way different for different people. I stop and chat with people that I have classes with, perhaps some professors, but rarely with people I have met once or twice. A relationship has to be established first. There are some people however, that stop and chat with practically EVERYONE, it can either be super awkward, or work in a way.
ReplyDeleteIn order for people have a “stop and chat,” I feel that they need to either really know that person or have something that you need to discuss with that person, and have the time. I think that time is an important factor because we’ve grown up understanding that time is money. Although this sounds really rude, deciding on whether or not to “stop and chat” basically depends on if the person is worth your time. I think that’s the kind of mindset we have; we just don’t know it. I also agree that there needs to be some kind of relationship. It matters if it’s a best friend, a teammate or a person who is one of your classes. A best friend would get the “stop and chat.” A teammate would get a “hello/how’s it going?/see you later!” in passing. A classmate would get the little wave and acknowledgement smile or nod.
ReplyDeleteI always feel awkard when you are out somewhere and see someone you know but dont talk to them on a regular basis.The way i go about it is if they stop i stop and then we initiate converstaion somehow.Its usually someone i knew in high school or at some point in my life and we dont communicate on a daily basis but still have some insight on whats going on in eachothers lives.Most of the time these stop and chats occur when you are out in public somewhere, which usually means you are in the middle of something or on your way to do something so time becomes a factor. Just like people above said it really depends on if the converstaion is worth your time.
ReplyDeleteI've always thought that this was a very interesting topic. Most people walk by you and try to avoid eye contact. Or if they do know you a little bit they will ask how you are and expect nothing more than an "I'm fine thanks." Even if you aren't ok, you always say that you are to avoid conversation. If you do know the person pretty well, time becomes the factor of if you strike up a conversation or not.
ReplyDeleteI would have to agree with Catherine on this topic. From what I've experienced, people tend to avoid looking directly at someone that they've seen in order to avoid having to say anything. If they make the "mistake" of making eye contact, they tend to just say a quick "hey and how are you?", kind of hoping that you will just say 'hey' back. I also agree what some of the other people have said. It depends on how well you know a person in order to determine whether you will stop by and talk to them or if you will just kind of smile and keep walking.
ReplyDeleteI think that in order to be able to stop and talk to someone that I know in passing I would have to have spent some time with them. For me since I am a fairly talkative and outgoing person when I know someone, this can be as little as having a class with someone. There have been plenty of times when I have started up conversations with people who I have interacted with in classes. The funny thing is that now that I think about it, most of the time they have been girls rather than guys.
ReplyDeleteThe easiest way to make me stop and talk to someone would be if I have made some kind of connection with that person. By this I mean that we have hung out and shared some kind of experiences together that have made us bond and make them more than just another person I am passing on my way to class.
Overall I would say that most people are more reserved and would rather not try and stop to talk to someone because of the fear of rejection. It's a funny thing and everyone differs in their opinion on how well you have to know someone before they break through to the friend status.
I’m a people person! I don’t know how often you have heard that however I am! I honestly I don’t need to know them all that well in order to have a good conversation with someone. This is the sort of thing I do to make friends. Although I must admit I am sometimes shy! Those who know me wouldn’t agree with the statement, but it’s true I can be shy at time just because I don’t want to always have a “powerful” personality because I enjoy listening to others’ thoughts, ideas, and advice. I’m a strong believer in the concept of “it the people who make the situation awkward not the situation itself is awkward.” we’re always saying “well that was awkward” instead of “well I was awkward.”
ReplyDeleteBottom line, I believe it depends on the environment you’re are in . If it passing by someone I think saying Good morning, Good Afternoon, Good evening etc. would be respectful and very friendly. However if you notice someone at the mall sitting by themselves eating or just looking people pass by … I personally wouldn’t mind sitting and talking to that person even though I have no clue who that is. I enjoy meeting new people and being friendly! So for me personally, not know the individual would not be an issue! I think it also depends on my mood lol I have to think about that!?